Hey guys! Today I’d like to talk to you about something that I think we can all relate to- kids testing our patience!
Some of the most trying times for parents and caregivers are when the child is old enough to have opinions on things, such as mealtime, but aren’t developed enough to be able to communicate their thoughts. This often results in the child becoming upset and expressing their frustration through screaming and tantrums.
Kids will be kids, and there will be days when you honestly struggle to be patient with their behavior. That’s just how it goes, but lately, I’ve been going through some struggles of my own with my NK. I’ve realized a few things that have helped me stretch my patience even further than I ever thought I could.
They Are Humans Who Have Feelings, Too
This is something that’s so easy for mothers and caregivers to forget. In a world where parents are always telling their kids to stop crying, the feelings of the child can often be overlooked and just brushed off as unreasonable. Although a child’s meltdown may seem irrational to us, it feels real and necessary to them.
Emotions are a fundamental part of the human race, and we can’t just ignore them in children when they aren’t convenient for us. There are times in relationships where you must consider your significant other’s feelings and meet them halfway. The same goes for your children.
The most important part to consider here is that their behavior is not personal. More often than not, your child’s behavior results from external circumstances even though it seems like it may have been something you did since you’re with them all the time. Take a deep breath and remind yourself young children aren’t naturally prone to do things to upset you- they are exploring and having reactions to the things around them.
This is a Very Confusing Time for Them, and They Are Doing the Best They Can!
Young children are so new to the world that simple things can seem overwhelming to them and they are easily overstimulated. Think about it. If you were only two years old in this crazy world and was trying to process everything you set your eyes on, anything out of the ordinary could cause a fear or stress reaction.
Children cling to safety and routine during this turbulent time of growth and mental expansion, so be patient with them on their overwhelmed days because what they mean to say is: “This is new, different, and kind of scary.”
It does sometimes seem like the child’s reaction is overkill for what startled them in the first place, but realize they don’t yet have all the coping skills in place to manage their stress and fear like we do. We have been on this Earth so much longer than they have and our job is to teach them the coping and behavior skills we want to see them use.
If I Were In Their Shoes, I Would Probably Be Very Frustrated, Too
If I Were in Their Shoes, I Would Probably Be Frustrated Aswell!
Could you imagine being in your child’s shoes and being unable to communicate your needs/wants? I can’t even fathom how frustrating and lonely that could feel at times. No wonder kids at this age can be so hard to handle! Yikes!
Despite this considerable communication hurdle that all young children face, I find it amazing that they still find a way to have fun and be happy. If I’m going through a time in my life where I don’t feel heard or listened to, it’s tough for me to feel happy at all, so remember that you do have happy times with your child and they are doing the best they can in this tough circumstance.
They Are Just As Patient With You On Your Bad Days- So Return the Favor
This fact is frequently overlooked, and I wish more people could realize this about their children and even their families as a whole. We are all human here, and we can’t keep it together all the time! Part of living together as a family means that you get to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of everyone in the home.
Let’s be realistic! We’ve all had days where we’ve said and done things we aren’t proud of because it was “just a bad day.” Remember that your kiddo is entitled to have those days, too. Just as they are patient and loving with you, you need to be patient and loving back to them. It’s imperative that a healthy balance is established here, so your child doesn’t always feel like they’re in trouble for having feelings or having a bad day.
What things have you
About the Author…
Mica Mackenzie is the founder and CEO of The Quiet Nonsense, LLC. She currently lives in Dallas with her boyfriend, Hunter, and their