Believe it or not, this is the article that inspired me to start this blog. Not so long ago I had my heart crushed by a man I cared about and loved very much. I fell from ‘Cloud 9’ at an alarmingly fast pace and was disoriented for months afterward.
It’s hard to be forced to live out a life you hadn’t planned to be living, but what I learned from it all was that things happen for a reason and the reasons are usually good ones.
Bad things happen all the time in this world and, when they do, people react all sorts of different ways. For me, I tend to just stop functioning. I stop caring for and about myself and I become a silhouette of a person.
As much as I’d like to be the tough girl that takes everything with a grain of salt, that’s just not me.
Ah, that’s all I wanted to discuss…so, without further ado, here’s an open letter to the man who broke my heart:
To: The Man Who Broke My Heart
I never knew I could go this long without you being on my mind, but I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. I’ve been surprising myself a lot lately. The amount of growth I’ve seen in my life since we parted has been astronomical. The last time we talked, you said I’m a completely different person and that’s the thing…I really am.
At first I was unsure if I was doing the right thing when I was evolving into the person I am now. I wondered if maybe you were right. I wondered if maybe I was pretending to be someone I’m really not. What I realized, though, was that I didn’t really know who I was when I was with you. I had no self-identity that could withstand the test of time. I was a pile of leaves being swept up in the current of the wind, seemingly powerless to change the direction of my life.
The person you love should empower you and make you feel like you can do anything you set your mind to, but I found myself constantly being presented with my weaknesses during the long years we spent together. The future was not looking bright for me, even though I couldn’t see it.
Our break-up may have actually been the single-most catalytic event in my entire life. For whatever reason, I guess my psyche needed something that was going to rock the boat a bit and get me out of the wretched cycle of depression and anxiety I was living in.
I want you to know that I appreciate all the times you held my hand and soothed my pain, but I also want you to know it’s still not okay what you did to me and I don’t regret leaving. Leaving you was the most empowering moment of my life thus far. I’ve started to realize I posses (and have always possessed) an insurmountable inner strength to persevere that you can never take away from me.
I now know the value of trust, respect, and dedication in a relationship and have someone who honors me and loves me very much. No, we don’t have it all together, but we work together to figure things out and that’s all that I could ask for.
Before I go, I just want to say this is not a post I would usually put out on the internet because it exposes my personal life so much.
I’m an introvert and the thought of everyone knowing about and reading this makes me a little sick to my stomach, but I also know how many people can relate to this and need to hear that there are happy endings to these stories. There are so many women and men out there feeling unworthy and broken because of a break-up and I’m just putting this out there to set the record straight.
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